At ECMS, we believe that children learn who they are, and how to be with others, through relationship. This starts from the very beginning. From the earliest days of life, our teaching teams are engaged in a kind of learning that isn’t about lesson plans or flashcards, it’s about how we are with children. This deep work of presence, respect, and responsiveness forms the foundation not only for learning and development, but for body safety and consent.
So, when sexuality educator and founder of Talking The Talk, Vanessa Hamilton, said at our 2025 ECMS Conference that consent education starts “from birth,” she was affirming what our teams already know from practice. “It's not about teaching them about sex,” she explained. “It's teaching them about their own body, that they're the boss of their body, and who they are” (Scott, 2025).
We see this every day in our birth to three project.
From the very start, consent is relational
Since 2023, ECMS has been working in partnership with infant and toddler specialist Dr Katherine Bussey to transform our approach to education in the first three years of life. This is a practice of noticing, slowing down, attuning, and making room for children's agency in even the smallest of moments.
This is especially powerful when we think about how children learn about consent. “Consent is really about relationships,” Dr Bussey explains. “And in early childhood, that begins with how adults respond to babies' cues” (Scott, 2025). At ECMS, we talk about care as the curriculum. A nappy change is not just a hygiene task, it’s a moment for connection, for asking permission, for naming what we’re doing and inviting participation.
And when we do that consistently, children start to trust that their bodies are respected.
Our approach in action: the power of small shifts
At Oakhill Family Centre, where the birth to three project began, our educators reimagined mealtimes and toileting as collaborative experiences. They allowed toddlers to say “no,” to express preferences, and to experience what it feels like to be heard, even when the educator can’t always follow their lead.
This matters. As Hamilton puts it, “You can't suddenly expect a child at 15 years old to assert boundaries, to say no, if we haven’t modelled that from the start” (Scott, 2025).
Giving a toddler choice over whether they want certain foods, or pausing before picking up a baby to see how they respond, are the everyday foundations of a consent-aware culture.
Confidence grows in relationship
Educator confidence is also key, and it doesn't come from a policy manual alone. It grows in relationship, through reflective coaching and a shared commitment to learning. Our birth to three Practice Coach Gracie Pupillo supports teams to honour each child’s pace and preferences. “Our work is nurtured through shared reflection and a willingness to learn together,” she says.
This support has helped educators shift from compliance to curiosity, from “this is just what we do” to “what is this child showing me right now?”
And in that shift, children feel something too. They feel safe. They feel seen. And they begin to understand, in their bodies, what it means to be respected.
Supporting families too
These conversations don’t just stay in the learning environment.
Many families haven’t grown up with language for consent or body safety, and bringing them in gently is part of our role. “This is generational change,” Hamilton notes. “But we need to get there by supporting the adults, not just the children” (Scott, 2025).
We support families with resources, with everyday stories from our services, and with open invitations to ask questions. And we let them know: your child’s voice matters here.
A continuing journey
Teaching consent isn’t just a topic we introduce at preschool age. It’s a culture we build - in the way we hold babies, in the language we use with toddlers, and in the trust we build with families. It’s how we lay the groundwork for safe, respectful relationships for life.
And just like our birth to three work itself, this is not a finished product. It’s a practice. One that asks us to be present, to stay reflective, and to keep learning. Together.
Reference
Scott, K. (2025, December 9). Teaching babies and toddlers about consent and body safety. ABC News.